The tone of that vacation was set by my cousin, Shanti. She gave me a big hug and my mind was in bubble land. I remember it was a Friday and I ended up playing this video game brought Arjun and Aishyriya called Guitar Hero. Man, Arjun really kicked ass on that one then I found out that he played piano for many years. Oh, he also kicked mucho in English premier soccer game. Arsenal or Manchester? Aish was really nice to me. She like my word that I use at work for repeating behaviors called perseveration.
I don't remember if they brought a friend that day but they definitely had one the next day when we went to the mall and saw my cousin-in-law, Urmilah. She was at a coffee shop, getting ready to meet her client (she's a therapist). A surprise! Man, can she hug. I'm glad I have weight issues on this day or I would have been crushed. We made promises (I'm not sure if can keep them. Sweetie, I don't know about meeting your sister or your relative at Vegas sometime this year but if you nag me enough, I'll get it done). Afterwards, we went to this coffee shop that provided Malaysian food. I don't remember what I ate but I was full.
With some shopping done (Mouthwash and deodorant. Thanks for the shirt), I basically crashed at the place. Sheela tried to goad to read a book but too restless(Hey guys, I got Skype now like it matters. My name is trivfun, what else.) On down time when my cousins and my uncle were at work, I would just wander the place. Photos of her were everywhere especially in that room. She is missed by family and house workers. Sheela is trying to take up the slack but as the saying "it takes a village" holds true. She ran the village. I clashed with her many times concerning the issue of marriage. My last conversation with her didn't end so well.
I don't care what anybody says, she was my mother's big sister. I felt that vibe. She looked after mom and visited her home. She was a bodyguard when mom was in elementary school and auntie in high school. Too bad, she had to get married and leave mom behind but she never really did at heart. Biology says she is related to my dad, my uncle Manickam and that her parents were Murugiah and Loughanbal Pillai. However, my vibe always felt that she was adopted or a step-sister to them. At eight years old, I asked dad if he had a sister because a kid in class named Shannon Noblett mentioned about his aunt being his dad's sister.
In my Indian world, you called every elderly Indian men and women, auntie and uncle. I knew dad had brothers because he talked about them in casual conversation but his younger sister, hardly. Though cordial and friendly to each other (they truly cared about her well-being), there was a barrier of sorts. No bonding. Distant. Grandma, dad and uncle acted like that to her. Can't put a finger on the issue. Maybe, auntie wasn't so dependent on her brothers. But dad wasn't close to his oldest brother who was actually a step-brother but he talked about him and you felt the brotherly vibe. I don't how Grandfather treated her because I never saw them together. However, I do say that she had the most similar traits to him like holding on to your culture and deal making. But where did those people skills come from?
Most in our family have this autism of clamming up in front of strangers, being anal retentive, and mean to someone (usually a distant relative). Auntie wanted them to be better than their circumstance but she had this gentleness to accept them for who they are. I couldn't get through to mom and once she rejected me at a young age, I quit trying to be her son. My sister, Kamini tried very hard until mom's last breath but never got through to her. Likewise, everyone in the family tried. As they say, everybody is children of God and we are all brothers and sisters, biological or not. But Sivagami and Masilamani seemed to have an understanding in a intuitive level. I thank good ole Murugan for that.
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