Class, Indian Gossip 101: The Art of Conjecture

I remember hearing this word in a parking lot at the WTVI studio in Charlotte, NC. It involved two guys discussing about their TV producers not allowing them to do certain stories because it was controversial and they may be attached to it due to their skin color. In my context, this word has been used particularly in the Indian community of all tribes. The idea behind it though is to get to main truth. Like Oliver Stone said about JFK "that he tried to create myths" to provoke action to get to the truth (the Mossad?). Same could be said here.

Class. Go to your typical party involving old Indian people. You see the mixtures, hot milk, tea or coffee. Cards, of course. India music and movies from the old. Maybe, some sweets or beech-nut pak. Then, gossip. Somebody will bring up someone with a new house or car. Job outlook. What kid got into college and what they are studying? Who is getting married and to who, what their occupation is? Mostly, it involves relatives and problems. What's new?

However, everybody wants to know more whether its the guest who leave early, leaves late, or who stays over particular when it involves an Indian who is different. Urvashi Vaid comes to mind. A typical Indian-American girl (born in India) with great academic pedigree reinforced by Indian family values from college professor parents. Whew! Yet, Urvashi could interact and make a difference with the outside world while still maintaining her Indian identity. The A Dr. Laura Schlessinger's Nazi ideal (Do as I believe but not as what I am).

Throughout the late 80's, this woman appeared in family conversations amongst Indians. I know, there wasn't a day when I was being lazy or complaining about dating non-Indians. This lady's name would come up, frequently. "Look, she listens to her parents, doesn't date, and works hard. They mentioned about her staying within her race non-verbally but that was their message. Because, they kept perseverating on her until whispers about her being single. It was 1990 and she was thirty-two, very late for an Indian woman.

Many said, don't worry this is America, women get married late. What about that short hair, showing her ears? Hey, its the fashion. Whispers about her being head of some Gay force. Okay, she is a liberal who supports equal rights for everybody but she isn't gay. Even if she was, its just a fad, she'll go back to a man. Oh, you are just jealous. At least, that is how it was explained to me when I asked those questions in a defensive manner.

My questions didn't provoke actions but it did keep the conversations down. My use of conjecture. When she came out visibly after Bill Clinton's election, she disappeared from conversation. Truth was, she was out as a gay woman since 1983 but the Indian community were in denial until she lead a protest march of gay people to Washington which they couldn't deny. The Indian magazines left her just like that. Threw her accomplishments out the window and are still waiting for the next heterosexual Aryan-Indian ideal in America.

Well, class. This is my spiel on conjecture. They can be used to get to the truth but mostly they are used for slander. Careful how you use them. When you go to your next party or next assignment, try not to create scenarios about people. It will lead to some truths but it comes with a price. Like JFK, it provokes action but it doesn't do much and goes away. Me and the Indian community in America are still paying for it concerning Urvashi Vaid. We left her.