The leader in this trip was definitely Sheela. She organized the whole plan even if it was on short notice. She sent me on that trip to Malacca. I would say she is the historian and archivist of the family. Of all the family members, I know her more due to her stay in Atlanta for undergrad and graduate studies. She has done well for herself. Now that her mom has passed on, she has to run the ship at her family home. I have to say, she is still in the rough when it comes to the human touch but the house is clean.
She is very politically active and astute in Malaysia as well as here in Atlanta. She kept up with the mayor's race in Atlanta and the current state government of Georgia . When she was in Atlanta, she learned and loved baseball better than Americans who lived here. As mentioned in my previous blog, she knew the history of Pudukkottai better than the folks who lived there. Likewise, she loves English literature and American lit. Finally, pop music from the 60's and 70's. I remember her talking about the feminist movement of Gloria Steinem and others. She cares about the environment and social injustices of immigrants in Malaysia. In short, she is a renaissance person, making a real difference.
She took me to that six story mall and to those twin towers. As for me, I made sure that I got up early and made sure the room was clean as well as the bathroom. I tried not to get on her bad side too much. Likewise, she didn't like people standing and mulling around. I tried to tell her that I can tour the city myself but she said no way. I think she mentioned about getting lost and being a victim of crime. She mentioned about carrying this little swinging object that could break a glass to prevent thievery in traffic. According to her, thieves are bold there and will try to rob someone on the driver side. She dropped me off at this tour guide station with buses and tourists. On my own, now.
Well, this trip to Malacca or Melaka (depending what the brochure or wikipedia says) is state and a town in southern Malaysia about ninety miles from Kuala Lumpur. It was founded by this Hindu prince who ran away from his kingdom in Singapore after getting his butt kicked (I don't know by who). Before him, local Malays occupied the place as a fishing village. Later on, this Hindu prince converted to Islam and Malacca became a Sultan kingdom. Eventually, the Portuguese took over the place from 1511-1641, then the Dutch 1641-1798, and finally the British from 1824 until 1946 where they became part of the Malayan union which later became Malaysia. Tough to process but little did I know that more was to come.
Friday, 30 April 2010
Wednesday, 28 April 2010
DOUBLE STANDARDS AT KL
I enjoyed the teasing from Shanti's family. Krishnan made fun of my southern accent particularly when I tried to speak Tamil. I admired him particularly when he gave a dog to his elderly mother's birthday. Aishyriya was at college and didn't see her too much. Arjun played a great piano rendition of a recent song that even his own mother was impressed. Background, she was tutoring him after finishing work from the office. She wasn't playing either. It sort of reminded of basketball practice by Pat Summitt.
Shanti really showed her boundless energy. During a hot day, she took time during a break from her family practice and tour guided me the whole city of Kuala Lumpur. At least it felt like she did. She covered a British government building(I think), a library for Malay Muslims, and this area where the rivers (oceans meet as well, I think). Kuala Lumpur was a trading post town where they mined for zinc. She discussed about Sultan and British rule. It felt more Sultan than British. The thing I notice that the flag looks like the United States but with a crescent on the star area. I didn't ask too many questions about the Malay Muslim rule. I just listened.
I'm not go over what they said and what they felt. But it was tense. Shanti is the eternal optimist in the family. She always sees the silver-lining and hope in everything and everyone. My analysis was this that Malay Muslims were getting preferential treatment in jobs, education, housing, land ownership, and government money. My impression was that they were more upset at the European visitors who come to Malaysia, see the cleanliness and the modern equities of the place that allows them to justify the racism towards Hindu's, Chinese, and others. I noticed this during the Temple visit to Murugan Temple and their complaints about the visitor's presence. Mostly, it was Europeans and Australians.
I'm sure I was included in this mix. Lazy American enjoying the fruits of someone else's suffering particularly the Hindu's who do the labor stuff but are shut out from important positions like upper management and CEO style. It reminded of a story about a black basketball player from the late 40's and early 50's, Bill Garrett. Not so much racial taunts but the quotas and those unwritten rules. Bill attended Indiana University on a basketball scholarship. Though he had the grades to attened IU and was Mr. Basketball for the state Indiana, it took an alumni from his hometown with financial influence to get Bill the scholarship. Once at Indiana, Bill wanted to be a doctor but only two blacks were allowed at the IU Medical School per a year during that time. Therefore, he chose physical education to become a coach and teacher. Likewise, he served in the army during the Korean War and played for the Harlem Globtrotters before starting his career.
He won a state championship in high school, got a Master's degree, and became an assistant dean at a college. Back then to coach a sport, you had to have a Masters degree and teaching qualifications in the classroom as well as proper behavior. However when he applied for the Indiana coaching vacancy in 1971, he got passed over by Bobby Knight who graduated with only a B.S. in History from rival Ohio State and was fired from his previous job at West Point for hitting a player. Yet, the unwritten rules and quotas that benefited him. IU fans loved Knight and didn't care about his shenanigans because he won and identified with the white majority. Three years after applying for the Indiana job, Bill Garrett died of a heart-attack at the age of 45.
After that learning session, Shanti took me to the old market place and went to various outdoor food places. It was hot outside but I enjoyed looking at the "visiting" women but one thing one bothered me. I noticed these women like to show their bodies off. I remember this lady wore a cloth that barely covered her breasts, her mid-section and her butt. Another lady fed her child with one of her breasts exposed. The natives didn't make an issue. Yet, you see Malaysian women having to wear their scarf over their head. Now, these women did show open affection to their boyfriends in public like hugging and kissing. But for the most part, they were covered up from the neck up but I saw some short sleeves and shorts. Message clear: You can oppress others as long as whites like your results and you don't oppress them.
Shanti really showed her boundless energy. During a hot day, she took time during a break from her family practice and tour guided me the whole city of Kuala Lumpur. At least it felt like she did. She covered a British government building(I think), a library for Malay Muslims, and this area where the rivers (oceans meet as well, I think). Kuala Lumpur was a trading post town where they mined for zinc. She discussed about Sultan and British rule. It felt more Sultan than British. The thing I notice that the flag looks like the United States but with a crescent on the star area. I didn't ask too many questions about the Malay Muslim rule. I just listened.
I'm not go over what they said and what they felt. But it was tense. Shanti is the eternal optimist in the family. She always sees the silver-lining and hope in everything and everyone. My analysis was this that Malay Muslims were getting preferential treatment in jobs, education, housing, land ownership, and government money. My impression was that they were more upset at the European visitors who come to Malaysia, see the cleanliness and the modern equities of the place that allows them to justify the racism towards Hindu's, Chinese, and others. I noticed this during the Temple visit to Murugan Temple and their complaints about the visitor's presence. Mostly, it was Europeans and Australians.
I'm sure I was included in this mix. Lazy American enjoying the fruits of someone else's suffering particularly the Hindu's who do the labor stuff but are shut out from important positions like upper management and CEO style. It reminded of a story about a black basketball player from the late 40's and early 50's, Bill Garrett. Not so much racial taunts but the quotas and those unwritten rules. Bill attended Indiana University on a basketball scholarship. Though he had the grades to attened IU and was Mr. Basketball for the state Indiana, it took an alumni from his hometown with financial influence to get Bill the scholarship. Once at Indiana, Bill wanted to be a doctor but only two blacks were allowed at the IU Medical School per a year during that time. Therefore, he chose physical education to become a coach and teacher. Likewise, he served in the army during the Korean War and played for the Harlem Globtrotters before starting his career.
He won a state championship in high school, got a Master's degree, and became an assistant dean at a college. Back then to coach a sport, you had to have a Masters degree and teaching qualifications in the classroom as well as proper behavior. However when he applied for the Indiana coaching vacancy in 1971, he got passed over by Bobby Knight who graduated with only a B.S. in History from rival Ohio State and was fired from his previous job at West Point for hitting a player. Yet, the unwritten rules and quotas that benefited him. IU fans loved Knight and didn't care about his shenanigans because he won and identified with the white majority. Three years after applying for the Indiana job, Bill Garrett died of a heart-attack at the age of 45.
After that learning session, Shanti took me to the old market place and went to various outdoor food places. It was hot outside but I enjoyed looking at the "visiting" women but one thing one bothered me. I noticed these women like to show their bodies off. I remember this lady wore a cloth that barely covered her breasts, her mid-section and her butt. Another lady fed her child with one of her breasts exposed. The natives didn't make an issue. Yet, you see Malaysian women having to wear their scarf over their head. Now, these women did show open affection to their boyfriends in public like hugging and kissing. But for the most part, they were covered up from the neck up but I saw some short sleeves and shorts. Message clear: You can oppress others as long as whites like your results and you don't oppress them.
Saturday, 24 April 2010
EDUCATION OF DEVAN
During this trip, Sheela and Shanti were great tour guides concerning the history of Malaysia and India as well. Sheela showed me this book of the history of Pudukkottai. These books look very fresh without torn covers since it appeared to be from the 30's or 40's (I could be wrong). They talked about this museum in Pudukkottai where they save things from over 2, 000 years like spears, pots, paintings, and many artifacts. They had records of kings who ruled Puddukottai. The Pallavas, Pandyas, and Cholas ruled before Christ and after. I visited that museum with my cousin, Senthil, before leaving for Chennai. Likewise, I visited the king's fortress created by Thondaiman dynasty, the last kingdom before independence. Bless your heart, Molly Fink.
Sheela and Shanti took me with Aish's friend to this Murugan Temple called the Batu Caves Temple about 12 km from Kuala Lumpur. I don't remember too much history about this Murugan God. I do know know that Thamboosamay Pillai was a miner and philanthropist during the 19th century. He discovered the cave. Actually, it was discovered by indigenous Malay group, Orang Asili for shelter and used by Chinese settlers to excavate guano for vegetable fertilization. Anyway, Mr. Pillai decided to dedicate this cave to Lord Murguan. Great? Didn't you already built another temple for your Hindu family? Okay, you didn't live to see that one and that you were going to be dead at 50 years old. What about you donating money to St. Mary's Cathedral, an Anglican church (I got soaked in that parking lot during a rain storm)? What the hell was that for? Opps, shouldn't say hell.
It was everything I expected. Absolute hell for me. Should have known, it had to be a Pillai who would have done this to me. I was sweating it up and breathing heavily. As you get closer to that temple, monkeys started appearing, begging for food. When they didn't get it, they snatched it right out your hand. When we got inside the cave, I noticed a concession stand and ran to get some water. I brought my wallet with me with some Malaysian ringets. Meanwhile, my cousins and Aish's friend walked up the place like a walk in the park. They didn't even ask for water.
The weather was hot to begin with and since this temple was on a mountain cave, I had to walk some major steps on a incline. As for me, I hoped my training for walking the steps at the 72 Marietta Street Building and Restore would help me. If not, my ego wasn't going to get bruised because I had the experience of trying to climb the Pucon Mountain in Chile and didn't do it. I had to stop, my hamstrings were aching and hell, I lost to a girl before (Make sure to lose to an Indian girl as well). Man, did I get teased by my sister, Rathi, and her climbing group. They went up the mountain, looked around, and passed me on the way down. That experience really helped me for dealing with insecurities.
After my long water break, there was a gathering at this shrine with the priests in hand. My cousins bought this tray with flowers, coconuts, and bananas to be blessed by this priest. He would chant something in front of this Hindu God or Goddess statue then mention my name or my family. I don't remember too much. Hopefully, whatever I blessed for, came true. Then with Aish's friend, I climbed some more steps to see another shrine of a temple God. Don't know if its Murugan or somebody else. We didn't stay long, the monkeys took over the place and got territorial with the visitors.
When we came down the mountain (thank God for railings), there were coffee shops and restaurants. I ordered lemonade while my cousins ordered hot tea and coffee. Can't remember what the friend ordered. We started chit-chatting a bit. My mind wandered at that Gold plated, Murugan statue that stood right on the entrance. That sucker was at least 140 feet high. All I could think about was that Michael Jackson video with that statue of himself falling down. As we headed out, I noticed this building and a old lady begging for money coming towards me. My cousin gave her some. Time to get out.
Sheela and Shanti took me with Aish's friend to this Murugan Temple called the Batu Caves Temple about 12 km from Kuala Lumpur. I don't remember too much history about this Murugan God. I do know know that Thamboosamay Pillai was a miner and philanthropist during the 19th century. He discovered the cave. Actually, it was discovered by indigenous Malay group, Orang Asili for shelter and used by Chinese settlers to excavate guano for vegetable fertilization. Anyway, Mr. Pillai decided to dedicate this cave to Lord Murguan. Great? Didn't you already built another temple for your Hindu family? Okay, you didn't live to see that one and that you were going to be dead at 50 years old. What about you donating money to St. Mary's Cathedral, an Anglican church (I got soaked in that parking lot during a rain storm)? What the hell was that for? Opps, shouldn't say hell.
It was everything I expected. Absolute hell for me. Should have known, it had to be a Pillai who would have done this to me. I was sweating it up and breathing heavily. As you get closer to that temple, monkeys started appearing, begging for food. When they didn't get it, they snatched it right out your hand. When we got inside the cave, I noticed a concession stand and ran to get some water. I brought my wallet with me with some Malaysian ringets. Meanwhile, my cousins and Aish's friend walked up the place like a walk in the park. They didn't even ask for water.
The weather was hot to begin with and since this temple was on a mountain cave, I had to walk some major steps on a incline. As for me, I hoped my training for walking the steps at the 72 Marietta Street Building and Restore would help me. If not, my ego wasn't going to get bruised because I had the experience of trying to climb the Pucon Mountain in Chile and didn't do it. I had to stop, my hamstrings were aching and hell, I lost to a girl before (Make sure to lose to an Indian girl as well). Man, did I get teased by my sister, Rathi, and her climbing group. They went up the mountain, looked around, and passed me on the way down. That experience really helped me for dealing with insecurities.
After my long water break, there was a gathering at this shrine with the priests in hand. My cousins bought this tray with flowers, coconuts, and bananas to be blessed by this priest. He would chant something in front of this Hindu God or Goddess statue then mention my name or my family. I don't remember too much. Hopefully, whatever I blessed for, came true. Then with Aish's friend, I climbed some more steps to see another shrine of a temple God. Don't know if its Murugan or somebody else. We didn't stay long, the monkeys took over the place and got territorial with the visitors.
When we came down the mountain (thank God for railings), there were coffee shops and restaurants. I ordered lemonade while my cousins ordered hot tea and coffee. Can't remember what the friend ordered. We started chit-chatting a bit. My mind wandered at that Gold plated, Murugan statue that stood right on the entrance. That sucker was at least 140 feet high. All I could think about was that Michael Jackson video with that statue of himself falling down. As we headed out, I noticed this building and a old lady begging for money coming towards me. My cousin gave her some. Time to get out.
Friday, 23 April 2010
Family Teasing
The tone of that vacation was set by my cousin, Shanti. She gave me a big hug and my mind was in bubble land. I remember it was a Friday and I ended up playing this video game brought Arjun and Aishyriya called Guitar Hero. Man, Arjun really kicked ass on that one then I found out that he played piano for many years. Oh, he also kicked mucho in English premier soccer game. Arsenal or Manchester? Aish was really nice to me. She like my word that I use at work for repeating behaviors called perseveration.
I don't remember if they brought a friend that day but they definitely had one the next day when we went to the mall and saw my cousin-in-law, Urmilah. She was at a coffee shop, getting ready to meet her client (she's a therapist). A surprise! Man, can she hug. I'm glad I have weight issues on this day or I would have been crushed. We made promises (I'm not sure if can keep them. Sweetie, I don't know about meeting your sister or your relative at Vegas sometime this year but if you nag me enough, I'll get it done). Afterwards, we went to this coffee shop that provided Malaysian food. I don't remember what I ate but I was full.
With some shopping done (Mouthwash and deodorant. Thanks for the shirt), I basically crashed at the place. Sheela tried to goad to read a book but too restless(Hey guys, I got Skype now like it matters. My name is trivfun, what else.) On down time when my cousins and my uncle were at work, I would just wander the place. Photos of her were everywhere especially in that room. She is missed by family and house workers. Sheela is trying to take up the slack but as the saying "it takes a village" holds true. She ran the village. I clashed with her many times concerning the issue of marriage. My last conversation with her didn't end so well.
I don't care what anybody says, she was my mother's big sister. I felt that vibe. She looked after mom and visited her home. She was a bodyguard when mom was in elementary school and auntie in high school. Too bad, she had to get married and leave mom behind but she never really did at heart. Biology says she is related to my dad, my uncle Manickam and that her parents were Murugiah and Loughanbal Pillai. However, my vibe always felt that she was adopted or a step-sister to them. At eight years old, I asked dad if he had a sister because a kid in class named Shannon Noblett mentioned about his aunt being his dad's sister.
In my Indian world, you called every elderly Indian men and women, auntie and uncle. I knew dad had brothers because he talked about them in casual conversation but his younger sister, hardly. Though cordial and friendly to each other (they truly cared about her well-being), there was a barrier of sorts. No bonding. Distant. Grandma, dad and uncle acted like that to her. Can't put a finger on the issue. Maybe, auntie wasn't so dependent on her brothers. But dad wasn't close to his oldest brother who was actually a step-brother but he talked about him and you felt the brotherly vibe. I don't how Grandfather treated her because I never saw them together. However, I do say that she had the most similar traits to him like holding on to your culture and deal making. But where did those people skills come from?
Most in our family have this autism of clamming up in front of strangers, being anal retentive, and mean to someone (usually a distant relative). Auntie wanted them to be better than their circumstance but she had this gentleness to accept them for who they are. I couldn't get through to mom and once she rejected me at a young age, I quit trying to be her son. My sister, Kamini tried very hard until mom's last breath but never got through to her. Likewise, everyone in the family tried. As they say, everybody is children of God and we are all brothers and sisters, biological or not. But Sivagami and Masilamani seemed to have an understanding in a intuitive level. I thank good ole Murugan for that.
I don't remember if they brought a friend that day but they definitely had one the next day when we went to the mall and saw my cousin-in-law, Urmilah. She was at a coffee shop, getting ready to meet her client (she's a therapist). A surprise! Man, can she hug. I'm glad I have weight issues on this day or I would have been crushed. We made promises (I'm not sure if can keep them. Sweetie, I don't know about meeting your sister or your relative at Vegas sometime this year but if you nag me enough, I'll get it done). Afterwards, we went to this coffee shop that provided Malaysian food. I don't remember what I ate but I was full.
With some shopping done (Mouthwash and deodorant. Thanks for the shirt), I basically crashed at the place. Sheela tried to goad to read a book but too restless(Hey guys, I got Skype now like it matters. My name is trivfun, what else.) On down time when my cousins and my uncle were at work, I would just wander the place. Photos of her were everywhere especially in that room. She is missed by family and house workers. Sheela is trying to take up the slack but as the saying "it takes a village" holds true. She ran the village. I clashed with her many times concerning the issue of marriage. My last conversation with her didn't end so well.
I don't care what anybody says, she was my mother's big sister. I felt that vibe. She looked after mom and visited her home. She was a bodyguard when mom was in elementary school and auntie in high school. Too bad, she had to get married and leave mom behind but she never really did at heart. Biology says she is related to my dad, my uncle Manickam and that her parents were Murugiah and Loughanbal Pillai. However, my vibe always felt that she was adopted or a step-sister to them. At eight years old, I asked dad if he had a sister because a kid in class named Shannon Noblett mentioned about his aunt being his dad's sister.
In my Indian world, you called every elderly Indian men and women, auntie and uncle. I knew dad had brothers because he talked about them in casual conversation but his younger sister, hardly. Though cordial and friendly to each other (they truly cared about her well-being), there was a barrier of sorts. No bonding. Distant. Grandma, dad and uncle acted like that to her. Can't put a finger on the issue. Maybe, auntie wasn't so dependent on her brothers. But dad wasn't close to his oldest brother who was actually a step-brother but he talked about him and you felt the brotherly vibe. I don't how Grandfather treated her because I never saw them together. However, I do say that she had the most similar traits to him like holding on to your culture and deal making. But where did those people skills come from?
Most in our family have this autism of clamming up in front of strangers, being anal retentive, and mean to someone (usually a distant relative). Auntie wanted them to be better than their circumstance but she had this gentleness to accept them for who they are. I couldn't get through to mom and once she rejected me at a young age, I quit trying to be her son. My sister, Kamini tried very hard until mom's last breath but never got through to her. Likewise, everyone in the family tried. As they say, everybody is children of God and we are all brothers and sisters, biological or not. But Sivagami and Masilamani seemed to have an understanding in a intuitive level. I thank good ole Murugan for that.
Wednesday, 21 April 2010
Going to Malaysia
This is one trip for the ages. What I like about it was the that it was my style. Pure unorganization. Great for me but hell on everybody else but I'm glad nobody got hurt. The only reason I went is because of my cousin-in-law, Urmilah Dass. She kept pestering me to go for about two years. I promised that I would come in 2009 when I was in India but didn't plan well. This time I made sure I went but didn't plan but I was going to get there somehow. Thanks to my uncle, I got on Air Asia from Tirichy and didn't look back.
Somehow, I forgot to call my cousins on this. Didn't have a cellphone with me but did mention on facebook or did I? My brother go on me on this one or was it my sister? Regardless, nobody knew when I was leaving till the day I left when my uncle called my cousin to let me know that I was coming. The whole time, I assumed they knew I was coming. When I got there, my cousin Bala picked me up. My dad advised me to go on a train to dowtown Kuala Lumpur. Unfortunately, this was not the airport which had the rail but the bus line. No need for me to worry but my cousin mentioned he didn't know that I was coming till he got a call about an hour ago. Opps!
It was a long trip from the airport to my uncle's house. I noticed many empty condos on the way with no cars but big parking lots. My cousin, later on, explained to me that these were owned by Muslims from the Middle East and come on vacations or free time of some sorts. The driver of the car was my dad's house assistant when he lived in Malaysia during the Mid-60's. Amiable man with a lot of hidden talents was my first impression. He asked how dad was and tell him about him. I couldn't sleep. I was excited in seeing the island-style mountains, the highways, billboards, and the Malay language in Roman Alphabets. People were neat to see as well particular those Malay ladies with those pink shawls over their heads.
I do remember getting to my uncle's home in a leafy neighborhood that reminds of a certain suburban neighborhood in California from the 60's. Only difference is that most of these homes are gated because thievery goes on regardless of income not to mention kidnapping. Later on, I got to open that gate which was a highlight for me. Moving on, I got to the house and met my other cousins, Sheela and Shanti. Shanti's husband, their kids, Arjun and Aish (sorry I don't want butcher your name by spelling it full).
It was a great reunion of sorts and it was on a Friday but on the background something was missing, my late aunt and it revealed itself.
Somehow, I forgot to call my cousins on this. Didn't have a cellphone with me but did mention on facebook or did I? My brother go on me on this one or was it my sister? Regardless, nobody knew when I was leaving till the day I left when my uncle called my cousin to let me know that I was coming. The whole time, I assumed they knew I was coming. When I got there, my cousin Bala picked me up. My dad advised me to go on a train to dowtown Kuala Lumpur. Unfortunately, this was not the airport which had the rail but the bus line. No need for me to worry but my cousin mentioned he didn't know that I was coming till he got a call about an hour ago. Opps!
It was a long trip from the airport to my uncle's house. I noticed many empty condos on the way with no cars but big parking lots. My cousin, later on, explained to me that these were owned by Muslims from the Middle East and come on vacations or free time of some sorts. The driver of the car was my dad's house assistant when he lived in Malaysia during the Mid-60's. Amiable man with a lot of hidden talents was my first impression. He asked how dad was and tell him about him. I couldn't sleep. I was excited in seeing the island-style mountains, the highways, billboards, and the Malay language in Roman Alphabets. People were neat to see as well particular those Malay ladies with those pink shawls over their heads.
I do remember getting to my uncle's home in a leafy neighborhood that reminds of a certain suburban neighborhood in California from the 60's. Only difference is that most of these homes are gated because thievery goes on regardless of income not to mention kidnapping. Later on, I got to open that gate which was a highlight for me. Moving on, I got to the house and met my other cousins, Sheela and Shanti. Shanti's husband, their kids, Arjun and Aish (sorry I don't want butcher your name by spelling it full).
It was a great reunion of sorts and it was on a Friday but on the background something was missing, my late aunt and it revealed itself.
Thursday, 8 April 2010
Back in the Village
I learned one lesson for being an Indian guy. Don't feel sorry for yourself if you are single because your family will give some "young ins" for you to look. Little did I know that this would turn into a competitive issue. My 94 year old grandmother was complaining about my being single. I tried to ignore the issue. Certainly enjoyed the food that my relatives were giving me. Grandmother lives with my uncle as well as his son and his wife. Did I tell you that my cousin has a wife and a 9 month old son. Across their house, her sister and her husband live there and behind their house was her husband's brother and his wife, my cousin. Confused. Well, I haven't cleared way, yet.
My story goes like this. I went to the birthplace of my mother in a village called Manachai. Her late mother (my other grandmother) took care of the home and land. You can look at my previous blog to get the description. I basically chilled at the place with my cousin, Mahesh on guard. Then, something happened. My grandmother's housekeeper showed up with all smiles. I was getting wary. Because I was helping her daughter with her education. Yet, she started talking about getting to know her daughter and shit. Some hours before, Mahesh's wife was upset at me for giving her money for her daughter's education. According to her, it is Indian culture that a person pulls themselves by their bootstraps. What she left out in the conversation is that you can pull your boot straps, legitimately or illegitimately.
Example: If a person ask you for 200 dollars for a haircut that is okay but if they ask just 200 dollars, its not okay. So, she got on me for giving free money. Of course, she made up some bullshit about 500 rupee fee (I checked with the managers, no such thing) to pay the 51, 000 thousand insurance plan that is supposed to benefit me after three years under her watch. But, she worked for it and hell, she has her own salon business. Its not just her but all my cousins felt that way including my cousin at the place I was sleeping at. Though, he was slick, he waited on the last day of my trip for money. First, about 3,000 rupees then went up to 5,000, and then 6,000. He talked the same game about expenses and all. Said he would owe me but I said "pay my father, its his money."
Back to Manachai. The housekeeper started to bring her daughter her along. Couple days before, I told my cousin's brother-in-law that I don't want to look any girls and that I want to marry Americans only! Remembering that thought, my cousin told the two to get back out. I noticed the girl looked well-dressed after school on a day. Hours later, the housekeeper was arguing with my cousin and mentioned that he influenced my decision making. Actually, it was me. I let her know that and told her that you only asked me to pay for her education and that was that. Then, she mentioned some emails that I sent to her, like I was leading her on. I responded that those emails were complementing her completion of her education. You could look it up.
All sorts of things came up of whose to blame. I have heard crazy stories about my parents intervening when other guys at her college wanted this girl. Then, they made secret plans of me and her meeting in the United States. The answer goes to me. I should have kept with the plan of not listening to my parents or anybody when it comes to girls because they always pick either incestuous or underage Indian girls. It just messes things up. The victim here is the girl but I don't feel sorry for the housekeeper in pushing the agenda. I did tell that I'm willing to pay for her daughter's education but no relationship. A few weeks later, I got an email from the daughter about not getting help and could I help pay for next year's education (she has been saying this for the past 3 years). Yet, she said she was going to graduate in a month which is now. I told her show me the letter where you have entered the Masters program and give me your resume so I can send it to others. No answer, yet.
I guess I learned something. Get out. Too corrupt. Time to get back to Pudukkotai and get ready for Malaysia.
My story goes like this. I went to the birthplace of my mother in a village called Manachai. Her late mother (my other grandmother) took care of the home and land. You can look at my previous blog to get the description. I basically chilled at the place with my cousin, Mahesh on guard. Then, something happened. My grandmother's housekeeper showed up with all smiles. I was getting wary. Because I was helping her daughter with her education. Yet, she started talking about getting to know her daughter and shit. Some hours before, Mahesh's wife was upset at me for giving her money for her daughter's education. According to her, it is Indian culture that a person pulls themselves by their bootstraps. What she left out in the conversation is that you can pull your boot straps, legitimately or illegitimately.
Example: If a person ask you for 200 dollars for a haircut that is okay but if they ask just 200 dollars, its not okay. So, she got on me for giving free money. Of course, she made up some bullshit about 500 rupee fee (I checked with the managers, no such thing) to pay the 51, 000 thousand insurance plan that is supposed to benefit me after three years under her watch. But, she worked for it and hell, she has her own salon business. Its not just her but all my cousins felt that way including my cousin at the place I was sleeping at. Though, he was slick, he waited on the last day of my trip for money. First, about 3,000 rupees then went up to 5,000, and then 6,000. He talked the same game about expenses and all. Said he would owe me but I said "pay my father, its his money."
Back to Manachai. The housekeeper started to bring her daughter her along. Couple days before, I told my cousin's brother-in-law that I don't want to look any girls and that I want to marry Americans only! Remembering that thought, my cousin told the two to get back out. I noticed the girl looked well-dressed after school on a day. Hours later, the housekeeper was arguing with my cousin and mentioned that he influenced my decision making. Actually, it was me. I let her know that and told her that you only asked me to pay for her education and that was that. Then, she mentioned some emails that I sent to her, like I was leading her on. I responded that those emails were complementing her completion of her education. You could look it up.
All sorts of things came up of whose to blame. I have heard crazy stories about my parents intervening when other guys at her college wanted this girl. Then, they made secret plans of me and her meeting in the United States. The answer goes to me. I should have kept with the plan of not listening to my parents or anybody when it comes to girls because they always pick either incestuous or underage Indian girls. It just messes things up. The victim here is the girl but I don't feel sorry for the housekeeper in pushing the agenda. I did tell that I'm willing to pay for her daughter's education but no relationship. A few weeks later, I got an email from the daughter about not getting help and could I help pay for next year's education (she has been saying this for the past 3 years). Yet, she said she was going to graduate in a month which is now. I told her show me the letter where you have entered the Masters program and give me your resume so I can send it to others. No answer, yet.
I guess I learned something. Get out. Too corrupt. Time to get back to Pudukkotai and get ready for Malaysia.
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