Leave the Mother Alone

I had my clashes with Indian women but the NPR report from Thursday about Indian girls are disproportionate to males made me think. They put the blame on the women because of infantile killings through sonograms which tell early detections to see if its a girl or boy. If its a girl, they have abortions or other means. If its a boy, Happy Divali!

Years ago, I was volunteering at this station in Matthews, NC which mostly played gospel music with some preaching. However, during Sunday's, you had time slots for about 3 hours per program with a fee, of course. One of these was the India something. Where they essentially played Gujurat stuff and some Hindi no Tamil. Man, I was messing up on the board, stopping music with no flow to announcements. I shaking like a leaf. Others were messing up too but I went to broadcasting school but they knew Gujurat. The guy who headed the program, Divakar Shukla said that I had to know Gujurat to play "Indian" music. He was trying to kick me out because I wasn't fitting in and my asberger's started to kick in (thanks for giving me a chance, Divakar!). Didn't phase me, though. I stayed through.

However, in the studio, I was surrounded by these three girls who were Gujurat (very cheerful) and the mother or grandmother found out that I was Tamil (I told her). She got Mr. Divakar to get me out of there via telephone. Well, it worked. He called me to say that she didn't approve of me being there, blah, blah. The radio owner and manager, made a comment about me being with girls. But I knew the real reason. They had to find a reason to kick me out. So, they used the low caste, Hindu tag on me, which was convenient to show me the door.

Point is the fear of a girl getting raped, harmed, by a low caste boy is real. Shoot, you can be Indira Gandhi or a Indian women with those degrees and honors but if she gets assault by somebody of low caste, she gets the blame not the perpetrator. The honor is gone. Worse, if she loves a low caste boy with no coercion, that is it. Over. She can get killed and nobody will look. Shoot, a woman can marry a Christian or a Muslim but someone lower than your caste in Hindu is, goodbye. If she had been a man, who cares but a woman.....

That is why when I hear the intelligence of Indian woman and how they are doctors, respected wives/mothers, and so on. I always listen to what the "vicious" aunties and uncles have to say. Most of them always mentions about her marrying within her caste or race. If they marry a different caste, it usually recognized as a higher caste. Maybe, if she married somebody a lower caste, that man is highly educated. If you are in the same caste, a man doesn't have to be highly educated because its all centers on procreation of the tribe. I guess, its better than marrying your relations. LOL.

The next generations won't have to worry about marrying an Indian girl because there won't be none. You know what, I don't the blame the Indian woman for not wanting to give birth to girls. They have a heart. They don't want their female offspring to suffer. What their action is telling me is that, "we" aren't Indians when push comes to shove. They maybe bitchy about but they have a point. I'm not going put the blame on them like many family advocates in India do. Thank God.

Back Home

Scariest word for me. I was talking to this dude at this party celebrating India over Pakistan (cricket) in Buckhead. He was talking with this lady who is pretty attractive. I was staring at her and he made a joke about her being captain of a cricket team since I only talk about sports. She laughed. He mentioned about him getting married and I asked if she (lady was I looking) was the one and then he said no, I'm marrying back home.

When he said that, I got out of there quick. "Back home" is code word for cousin or a distant relative. Nightmares. These girls have that demeanor like Jerry Lee Lewis' first wife, related or not. Wasn't really doing a great job at the club of getting ladies as a matter of fact, I crashed hard. But I wasn't the only one. Guys at the club sat against the wall or hung out with other guys while the girls danced hard. Not all of them. One dude offered me a drink. But most resigned to themselves that the only way to get a lady is "back home." I did have a person who offered to teach "Bollywood" Dancing but that I had to bring a dance partner. Then why would I need to be at a club?

Truth is harder for an Indian guy (maybe even women) to get an non-relations Indian than its to get a white, black, or other racial types of women. Shoot, its easier for that Hindu to get a Muslim or a Christian woman for that matter. Its like what my real mother use to say to me. You can marry anybody you want but if you marry an Indian, you better do it within your caste (essentially within your family relations). This attitude is still prevalent when it comes to Indian men.

Truth is: I stink. I don't know about other Indian guys and their issues. I can only go on me. I tried to avoid them because in my younger teen days, there family was around them. As an adult, I realized how American I am but that I have too much Southern Indian sexism to relate. Mostly, I couldn't relate to them. Not that I can with anybody else but they ain't no practice dummies, which I respect. Unlike..... I will stick with being friends but I ain't going home. LOL.